I wrote exactly once for TV, and don't think I ever saw the shows since they first aired...and, much to my surprise, they're now on YouTube.
It was a sketch-comedy series called On the Television -- best described as a cross between Mad TV and Siskel and Ebert -- done on a budget and shown on Nick at Nite. Short parodies of TV shows were interspersed with banter between two critics (one of whom was played by George McGrath, who created the show and asked me to contribute). Many of the cast went on to bigger careers, including Kathy Griffin, Lisa Kudrow, Mindy Sterling (hysterical in the Austin Powers movies), and Julia Sweeney, a really funny woman who was sorely misused on Saturday Night Live.
There's one clip on the site with my name on it that I don't remember writing (although I did recognize a couple of lines when I saw it), and the one I really do remember isn't up there (Julia as a teenage beach-volleyball player in an adult diaper commercial: "Sure I can control my bladder. But with my active schedule, why should I?").
But I definitely remember writing this -- "The Daddy/Daughter Global Universe Pageant":
I love George's delivery on "May I say in my eyes, all of you are winners. Of course, in the judges' eyes, most of you are losers." (And that's Julia as Miss USA in the blonde pageant wig.)
Damn. I thought for SURE you were responsible for the Water Boy.
Posted by: metroknow | January 17, 2008 at 12:09 PM
The money would've been nice, but the prospect of writing things like "The Waterboy" (had anyone been remotely interested in having me do so) was what convinced me that I'd be happier in journalism, editing, publishing -- anything but Hollywood.
The prospect of cagefighting other writers for the privilege of writing something like "According to Jim"...oh, hell no. But the money would've been nice.
Posted by: Kevin | January 17, 2008 at 03:52 PM
"spaniel eyes..." "ammonia factory..." wah!
Back in 1996, I wrote a few episodes for a short-lived Showtime/Playboy series called something like Porn for Women. If they have it on YouTube, I am going to shoot myself
Posted by: nancy | January 17, 2008 at 07:42 PM
Writing scripts and dialogues for TV shows is a hard task. I wonder what inspires TV writers to come up with these wonderful lines.
Posted by: Lauryn Purtee | October 26, 2011 at 10:40 AM